Therapists Hate These 9 Weird Tricks to Cure Depression!
Therapists want you to believe that depression “has no cure,” but that’s a load of horse poop. Here are some cures for depression. Take that, therapists! How do YOU feel about that?!
1. Spend more time in nature.
The best way to get that depression-fighting Vitamin D is to stare directly at the sun. No sunglasses! You don’t want to filter out any of those helpful UV rays!
2. Eat blueberries.
Blueberries have antioxidants, which can cure depression. But you have to swallow them whole! Otherwise you’ll strip your hair of their natural oils, and that’s depression!
3. Try meditation.
Remember: breathe in, but DON’T breathe out. That’s how you get depression!
4. Self-care time.
Take a hot bath. Do a face mask. Rub mulch from the local elementary school playground all over your body. If you get a splinter, that means your pores are too big! Big pores are how that sneaky depression seeps in!
5. Smile more.
Get smile direct club and ask them to give you an underbite. The best way to get OVER depression is to get an UNDERbite.
6. Get more sleep.
Go into a coma for a few months! I did that once and I forgot everything that made me depressed. And everything else!
7. Live in the moment.
Wipe out all of your memories so you can’t think about the past. What traumatic childhood? You can’t remember!
8. Remember that depression’s all in your head.
So put it somewhere else! Like your arm. Then chop your arm off.
9. Try harder.
You can get through this. Just push yourself. But not off a cliff! Whoops – that’s a symptom of depression.
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(note: this is fake)
Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash
